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Tar Miriel's avatar

This spoke to me on so many levels. My thirteen year old has a psychiatric disorder (trichotillomania—but she’s had low stress tolerance since she was a baby. Her birth was difficult and I was sick for months after she was born. I assume her emotional and mental fragility stems from that.

But her smartphone has been helpful, actually. She uses it to text me or her dad when she needs something but is uncomfortable asking face to face or if she isn’t feeling well. She uses it to Facetime her friends, none of whom live far away but suburban traffic and diverse schedules means she can’t just run off to see them. Will she let me or her dad teach her how to cook? No. But she’ll have her friends in a group chat and they walk her through simple cooking. It’s so cute. 🥹

The pediatrician tells me to have her and her younger sister assessed for Autism. I was given a high functioning Autism diagnosis in childhood, but I was asocial in a way none of my kids are. They’re shy but highly sensitive to their peers’ social approval. On the occasion I noticed social disapproval I didn’t care. Not that I think they have no Autistic traits, but I don’t think an Autism diagnosis would serve either of them. I think they would both easily get one if I took them for an assessment, and I think that’s entirely due to diagnostic criteria expanding.

My oldest needs help with stress management, but she doesn’t need an Autism diagnosis for that. It certainly wouldn’t make her eligible for any of the Autism programs around here, which have an IQ maximum she exceeds.

And related, every adult I’ve known who acquired an adult Autism diagnosis man. Man. They make me look like a hermit freak. But they also make me look super emotionally stable, so I sometimes wonder if some of them truly do have some psychiatric issue, even if I’m unconvinced we have the same one. (Maybe my diagnosis was wrong though. Not like I know.)

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